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NewsPox

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Language: English
Category: Variety / Comedy
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Newspox 7 April.mp3

Hello. Here is the Olympics* Olympic Flame carried through the streets of London a health and safety nightmare.* We turn out to know a surprising amount about the FA cup.* There is a thingy that is a cross between a Llama and a Camel but it is not called a cama or Llamal (from Kajagoogoo), but a rama. Stupid name.* Kate Moss is queen of fashion again, due to Kylie catsuit error....

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NewsPox 17 December.mp3

Hello. It's the last NewsPox of the year, but not exactly a classic as there isn't much news: * Virgin birth happens on a donkey * Something to do with some kings * Woolies down the dumper * Don't listen if you don't want to know what Kate Moss has got her daughter for Christmas....

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[ Wed, 17 Dec 2008 17:01:26 +0000 ]

NewsPox 15 December.mp3

Hello. Here is the news: * Women ignores advice of horse and decides to get married anyway. * George Bush geta show thrown at his head * Everyone is too thin * X Factor finishes and someone won....

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[ Mon, 15 Dec 2008 18:02:49 +0000 ]

NewsPox December 9.mp3

Hello. Here is the news. Or is it? You can listen and decide. * 70 year old woman gives birth * Prince is 50 * Train crash in Japan * Lily Allen gets a new tattoo...

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[ Tue, 09 Dec 2008 17:51:47 +0000 ]

Newspox December 8.mp3

Hello. Today we played a game. Can you spot the real news stories from the the made-up ones. Is truth stranger than fiction? In the case of Jeremy Clarkson, yes; but in all other instances, no....

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[ Mon, 08 Dec 2008 17:31:24 +0000 ]

NewsPox 1 December 2008.mp3

Hello. Happy advent calendar day. This is the news: * Hilary gets a job starting wars for Barack Obama * Metro gets a new look - more showbiz and a nicer font. * Ann from Neighbours saved from toilet disaster in Mumbai. Ann. You remember Ann. She went out with Billy. Yeah, Ann. * The credit crunch makes love, not war....

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[ Mon, 01 Dec 2008 17:30:29 +0000 ]

NewsPox 26th November.mp3

Hello. Here is the news: * Gordon Brown in a huff with David Cameron * British Fritzl sent down * Amy Winehouse in clinic * Zena is going out with eighties throwback David Van Day....

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[ Wed, 26 Nov 2008 16:23:19 +0000 ]

NewsPox 24 November 2008.mp3

Hello. Here is the news for you: * It was the pre-budget report today. This is what happened: - VAT down to 15% - People earning over �150,000 will be taxed 45% in 2011, unless this is reversed before then. - Increase in NI - Votes for women - Everyone encouraged to go to the shops * Gordon Ramsay is in trouble * Adopt a deformed animal and have a Downs baby. It's all cool these days. ...

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[ Mon, 24 Nov 2008 17:40:43 +0000 ]

NewsPox 18th November.mp3

Hello. Here is the news for you. * I'm a Celebrity, Please Get Me Out of Here has started and we are officially backing George. Go go gay old fella! * Ahoy me hearties, piracy on the high seas causes new oil crisis. * Get an injection to make you go skinny, orange and make you tits bigger. It's going to be complusory for all girls in primary school....

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[ Tue, 18 Nov 2008 17:36:39 +0000 ]

NewsPox 11 November.mp3

Hello. Here is the news: * it's behind you * Elephant and sheep are unlikely friends. They met on Facebook. * Barack Obama is sexy. Gordon Brown is doing his best. * Turn a different corner and we never would have met. * Don't do anything slightly sweary or offensive on the radio or you will get fired. If you are on the radio don't do anything sweary or offensive in your private life either - the BBC are watching you. * We strongly dislike Henry Conway. Still....

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[ Tue, 11 Nov 2008 17:50:34 +0000 ]

NewsPox November 4.mp3

Hello y'all. It's an American election special. Yee-hah!...

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[ Tue, 04 Nov 2008 17:07:44 +0000 ]

NewsPox November 3rd.mp3

Hello. Here is the news: * There was some sort of kerfuffle with Jonathan Ross and Russell Brand and a rat in a tin of crackers. * Little Lewis Hamilton won a race in his big brum brum car. * Anthrax is in bongos * They drink Um Bongo in the Congo * Man has entire cast of Upper Hand tattooed across his chest. * That sort of thing, you know....

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[ Tue, 04 Nov 2008 16:24:26 +0000 ]

Newspox October 22.mp3

Hello. Here is the news: * Big Mo Al-Fayed in trouble for touching up sexy underage schoolgirls * Victoria Beckham has cars to match her clothes and that is why the credit crunch is now officially a recession * Would you go back in time and kill Hitler. You can if you want. * Cat's die if they eat flowers. Don't feed them flyers....

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[ Tue, 04 Nov 2008 16:15:42 +0000 ]

Newspox 21 October.mp3

Hello. Here is the news: * Tigers have a nice swim * Sir Alan says "do business with Britain" * Peaches says "marriage isn't forever" in a rare moment of wisdom. ...

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[ Tue, 21 Oct 2008 17:47:26 +0100 ]

Newspox 20th October.mp3

Hello to you, and welcome to the last week of October. Here is the news: * It's definitely a recession, so tighten those belts, fatties. * Peter Mandelson has a problem down below * Bruce Forsythe is 80 and so is Russell Brand and Ricky Gervais. All old fellas. ...

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[ Mon, 20 Oct 2008 16:49:49 +0100 ]

NewsPox 14 October.mp3

Hello. This is the news. * Gordon Brown has maybe saved the day * J-Lo renewing her wedding vows. She is a complusive vower * Mice get wigs. * The world is full of shits....

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[ Tue, 14 Oct 2008 18:29:23 +0100 ]

Newspox 8th October.mp3

Hello. Here is the news: * There has been a bank bail-out and an interest rate drop. Does this mean the end of the credit crunch? No. * High School Musical 3 has opened at cinemas. Does this mean the end of entertainment as we know it? Yes. * Wedding cake made of cheese. * Jade Goody planning own funeral....

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[ Wed, 08 Oct 2008 17:48:26 +0100 ]

NewsPox 7 October.mp3

Hello. We're back (again) and here is the news: * Mandy back again * Markets crashed again * Mr Gay UK murdered and ate his lover - recipe available in the giant Fat Duck Cookery Book by Heston Blumenthal....

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[ Tue, 07 Oct 2008 17:27:53 +0100 ]

newspox 17 September.mp3

Hello. Here is the news: Everything is awful That's it. We're having a break again now. Bye....

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[ Wed, 17 Sep 2008 18:05:08 +0100 ]

Newspox 16 September.mp3

Hello. The News is coming at you... NOW! * Damien Hirst has by-passed all the usual ways to sell art - dealers, ebay, hanging it on the railings outside Regents park - by having a bloody big auction and he's made a fortune out of it. Well done, Damo. * Some minor Labour Party is bullying poor Gordon Brown by quitting in protest. * Don't think much of the cheeky Girl's tits. * Zena will murder me one day. * Do you have a desk at work? How long would it take you to clear it? How many boxes? I thin...

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[ Tue, 16 Sep 2008 17:18:51 +0100 ]

NewsPox 10 September.mp3

Hello you! Welcome to NewsPox and not the end of the world. * Hear special guest Peter Buckley Hill, giving us a man's perspective on the news * Gasp in amazement as we tell you what we think of Posh's new haircut * Reel as we tell you again about the 5 steps of Paedophilia * Listen to a pig in lipstick ...

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[ Wed, 10 Sep 2008 17:57:00 +0100 ]

Newspox 9 September.mp3

Hello! We're still back. Two days in a row is a 4 month record, I reckon. See how the old enthusiasm for news has returned. * Josef Fritzl has his own tribute act called Polish Fritzl * Sarah Brown has been hanging out with Naomi Campbell but it didn't end well. * Boys, if you are out on the lash tonight do not invite your drunken friend to stay the night just in case you accidentally bum him, thinking he is your wife (who loves being bummed.) ...

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[ Tue, 09 Sep 2008 17:37:04 +0100 ]

NewsPox 8 September.mp3

HEllO! We're back after an extended summer break. Listen in to hear what we got up to. We'll also discuss the big news of the summer: * The weather * The Olympics * The American Elections * The Credit Crunch * M&S turning evil * Dick Dodd's Dead Dad's dog...

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[ Mon, 08 Sep 2008 16:37:28 +0100 ]

Newspox 15 July.mp3

Hello. This is the news: * The Jolie-Pitt twins have arrived and they are hot top models already. They won't get out of the womb for less than �10million * Man pets sheep * Ronnie Wood goes on a mental bender witha russian tatu style teenage lovely, which is a bit embarassing for everyone really. I am embarassed to be writing this. * What is the difference between a magpie and a dalek? Lots really, but children don't know. What do they have in common? A love of shiny stuff. ...

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[ Tue, 15 Jul 2008 17:11:30 +0100 ]

Newspox 7 July.mp3

Hello. Here is the news: * It is 7/7, like when those bombs went off. People will do some creepy silent dancing to commemorate how the weather was much better then. * Lily Allen has bought a bucket AND a mop. They match, which is classy. * Cardiff Airport to be renamed Gavin & Stacey Airport or the Duffy Is Tom Jones's Love Child Airport. * Madonna not getting divorced * Alan Sugar not in plane crash ...

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[ Mon, 07 Jul 2008 16:58:50 +0100 ]

Newspox 1 July.mp3

Hello. Here is the news at the start of July. * Oooh it's hot, but the nights are drawing in. * Madeline McCann: no news * Bees on the loose * Ken Livingstone likes chutney on his ham sandwiches * Charlotte Church is going to be burnt at the stake for saying she wants a lot of children. What a bitch....

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[ Tue, 01 Jul 2008 17:46:41 +0100 ]

Newspox 10 June.mp3

We're back! We've been awfully busy, but not too busy to keep up with the important global and politcal news. So here is a round up of what has been going on over the past 3 weeks: * Zena might have ever brought chips off of super model Agynes Deyn, but probably hasn't * Some Dolphins got lost and died. * Prince Charles died * the Camden Fringe website went live * Boris is yet to completely fuck up being Mayor * Lily Allen done her hair pink. Phew!...

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[ Tue, 10 Jun 2008 18:00:12 +0100 ]

NewsPox 14 May.mp3

Hello. Here is the news: * What ever happened to little Shannon and her pikey family? * Gordon Brown is the new Sir Alan. Hooray! * The Housing Minister, Bungle from Rainbow, puts her notes in a poly pocket instead of a ringbinder and now she is in trouble. * Kelly Brook and Billy whatsit from that film where he was mad and on a boat - Zane, that's it, split up and now they are back together. * You can make your own hat like the one worn by SJP at the SATC premiere with just a hat, a print ...

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[ Wed, 14 May 2008 18:04:48 +0100 ]

Newspox 7 May.mp3

Here is the weekly news: * Someone left Boris in charge and now he is banning picaninnies from the buses. * Cliff was robbed by Franco in jealous lovers' tiff * Northern people are all common. Don't hit me, it's true because Brian McFadden says so. * Kylie is an M&S slut on tour, apparently. * The cellar fella likes to play with prozzies poo, which is relatively normal compared to looking up your own daughter and raping her for 24 years....

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[ Wed, 07 May 2008 18:07:34 +0100 ]

Newspox 30 April.mp3

Hello. Here is the weekly news round up of the week: * Humph dies. * John Peel died ages ago * Madeleine McCann still missing - one year on * Tiny Austrian cellar where a man raped his own daughter for 24 years being sold by Foxtons for a cool half a mil. * Beans sexed up to be more relivent to the under 30's * Vote Ken....

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[ Wed, 30 Apr 2008 16:00:19 +0100 ]

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